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A Real Democracy Doesn’t Do These Six Things, America
But you do — and still don’t understand why others mock you.
As the entire world knows, the American electorate goes to the polls on November 3 to vote in the presidential, congressional, local and whatever-the-hell-else-you-vote-for-every-fortnight elections. The rest of us — meaning residents of other Western democracies who’ve bothered to pay attention — await the impending chaos of November 4 and beyond with a mix of abject horror, uneasy delight and morbid fascination.
Why do we care, you ask? Well, for one thing, we’re curious whether enough of you have the brainpower to vote an obvious charlatan and racist wannabe demagogue from office. We also want to see the litigation capital of the universe fire up the barbecues for the roast-fest that will be the post-election period. None of us expect you to do the logical thing, which is to count all the ballots in a dutiful and sensible fashion, then declare a winner based on the evidence of your own eyes (and tabulators).
Nope. In present-day America, that would be too easy.
Instead, what we expect is a colossal shitstorm of biblical proportions. I hate popcorn, but I’ll have some popped and ready for the munching next Tuesday night.
